Let them judge
Shaman Durek so wisely says, “it’s not your responsibility to control how someone perceives your work. Let them judge. If you’re not ruffling feathers on planet earth, then what are you doing?”
I’ve been playing so small recently; writing things and not posting them because they sound ‘too radical’ or, even more recently, not being able to write because of self-doubt that has curbed my creative mojo.
When I first started my blog, it was this low key thing that I was doing for me. Now that people DM me about it and tell me how inspired they are by what I say, or alternatively how crazy and weird they think I am, I’ve gotten spooked. (That being said, please keep ‘em coming!) I started caring too much about what others think of my work and stopped doing what I’d set out to do, which was write about what lights me up!
This whole experience reminded me of something the amazing Danielle Beinstein told me during an astrological reading. She said “you’re only going to succeed once you let go of the idea that you’re responsible for how other people feel.” Dani hit the nail on the head: my people-pleasing behavior is holding me back. I often say what I can tell someone wants to hear because:
1. I feel it’s my responsibility that people leave interactions w/ me feeling good about themselves
2. I feel I’m more valuable when people like me
How unempowered is that?
I learned in my corp job that I’m not going to be successful climbing the corporate ladder or going down the pre-set path. To speak frankly, my whole life I’ve been a high-performer but, for the first time in my life, this changed at my job. I was unhappy and uninspired and it held me back.
What I learned from this experience was beautiful: I’m not going to succeed following the pre-set path. Many will, and will gain deep satisfaction doing so, and that’s fab. But for those who don’t identify with that path, or feel you’ve given it a real try and know it’s out of alignment with you, that’s okay!
We live in this incredible time when it’s never been easier to found a company or work in a way that’s ‘different.’ Embrace that! Figure out what lights you up and GO DO IT.
I wanted to post this here to keep myself accountable to my goal, which is to do work that lights me up and help other people do the same.
Here’s a virtual toast to all of us having an inspired 2019 🥂👏🏽